Wrong, Sick and Twisted Jokes

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Wrong, Sick and Twisted Jokes

Post  Darkblade on Sun Aug 24, 2008 4:54 am

Feel free to put up any jokes as is all in good fun.
If they are messed up jokes that cross the line make them so wrong that they become right.
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Re: Wrong, Sick and Twisted Jokes

Post  De Locke on Mon Aug 25, 2008 5:35 am

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.

His first friend says: I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they werent mine.

His second friend says: I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasnt mine.

Paddy says: I think my wife is having an affair with a horse. Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.

No, Im serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.
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Re: Wrong, Sick and Twisted Jokes

Post  De Locke on Mon Aug 25, 2008 5:56 am

A truck driver picks up a woman hitch hiker on the side o the road.

He pulls over on the side of the road a few blocks down and the woman asks him what he is doing? He asks her if she wants to have sex? She says "I can't I'm on my period."

He says "That doesn't matter."

So they get in the back of the cab and he is eating her out.

A police officer drives by and sees the truck rocking.

So he gets out and knocks on the door of the truck.

The truck driver opens the door and asks if he can help the officer.

The officer asks him what he is doing? He says liking his fingers "Eating Pizza!"
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Re: Wrong, Sick and Twisted Jokes

Post  De Locke on Mon Aug 25, 2008 5:57 am

A man goes to his doctor for an annual check up.

The doctor says "I'll need you to come back tomorrow with a urine sample, a poo sample and a sperm sample".

The man replies "Right so doctor, I'll bring'em by tomorrow"

When he gets home his wife askes "Well what did he say ?"

The man replies "He needs me to bring in a pair of your underwear."
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Re: Wrong, Sick and Twisted Jokes

Post  De Locke on Mon Aug 25, 2008 6:02 am

There was a young girl who lived up in the hills of Tennessee. She was about to turn sixteen, and couldn't wait to get her driver's liscense.

She had been subjected to much ribbing from her older brother, telling her that she was too dumb to get her liscense.

When the big day came around, she passed the test with flying colors.

She rushed home and asked her father if she could use the car that night so she and her friend could go in to town where all the cool kids were at.

The father said, "Sure honey, but you'll have to give me a blow-job first."

Wanting to go to town real bad, she agreed.

As she went down on her father, she suddenly jumped up an said "Dad your dick tastes like shit"

Oh yea, her father replied, "I forgot, your brother's got the car tonight."
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this one may cross the line..

Post  De Locke on Mon Aug 25, 2008 6:04 am

A little boy and a pedophile are walking in the deep, dark, woods. The little boy says,

"Mister, I'm scared! These woods are really creepy."

The pedophile replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back all by myself."
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Re: Wrong, Sick and Twisted Jokes

Post  Emma on Mon Aug 25, 2008 5:46 pm

OMG? Shocked
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